jueves, 5 de julio de 2007

Comienzo con el amor y Reiner María Rilke

Dice el poeta: "amar es -durante mucho tiempo- solo una gran soledad...". ¿Será que, efectivamente estamos indeciblemente solos, será que dormimos con una serie de fantasmas que recordamos, de espectros a los que nos apegamos, de azar al que nos acostumbramos?

Dice también: "Y cada vez, una soledad más intensa y profunda". Una herida es el amor "intensa y profunda"; es el rompimiento de uno mismo.
Y sigo preguntándome que es, y como saberlo y como conocerlo, como experimentarlo. Sabemos tan poco sobre esto, tanto sobre todo lo demás, quizá porque simplemente no hay nada que saber. El amor no es nada.

"El amor es la única ocasión de tomar forma..." Un amigo decía que, era para lo que estabamos hechos, y que era curioso como a un modelo finísimo lo cargábamos con estiércol.
Y me sigo preguntando.
¿Qué afán el mío? Sin armas para conseguirlo, sin temple para conservarlo, tan escurridizo como el sexo, y tan parecido a las caricias, a los besos. Fácilmente confundible con el orgasmo, con el abrazo, con la plática en medio de la madrugada, con el roce eléctrico y el calorcito de otro cuerpo. Exageradamente frágil, estúpidamente sencillo.
El amor me sigue preguntando, y después de los años sigo donde mismo, esperando.

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